Nighttime Thoughts of an Insomniac

For the longest time I was unacquainted with insomnia. If anything I had the exact opposite problem. Going to a movie theatre was as good as curling up in bed, regardless of how good the movie was. Years later I had a co-worker who complained of insomnia and I laughed at him. A lot. Since then karma has paid my bed the occasional visit to settle the score.


10.30pm – I’m so tired I think I will go to bed now

10.45pm – Maybe lying on my side will help

11.00pm – How is it possible for a person to yawn for this long but still not fall asleep?

11.15pm – Did I remember to switch off the living room lights?

11.30pm – I exercised more than usual today. Shouldn’t I be extra tired?

11.45pm – Perhaps it would be more productive for me to do laundry right now

12.00am – Maybe 3 glasses of water will help me sleep

12.15am – Why do experts tell you to go to bed early? What makes them experts anyway?

12.30am – The guy who suggested counting sheep was a cure for insomnia had wool for brains

12.45am – 3 glasses of water does not help you sleep

1.00am – If I’m not tired now and I keep doing nothing I shouldn’t be tired in the morning, right?

1.15am – Rockabye baby is such a morbid song

1.30am – I hope warm milk is not a myth

1.45am – The counting sheep dude probably came up with the warm milk idea

2.00am – Hey I have the perfect idea for the McDonald’s ad campaign. Let me write it dow… Zzzzzzzzzzzzz

6.00am – How come insomnia never strikes in the morning?