Dubai’s Unofficial Driving Rules


It’s been a while since I got my driver’s license. Evidently the official driving rules I was taught no longer seem to matter. Based on months of observation here are the unofficial driving rules of Dubai.

1. When merging lanes, the larger car has right of way. If both cars are the same size, the car with darker tinted windows has right of way.

2. Refrain from using indicators. If you must use them wait until you have already finished changing lanes.

3. In crowded mall parking lots, occupy 2 spots at the same time

4. If you have an accident in a single lane road, get out of your car and have a yelling match. The people honking behind you are simply providing background music.

5. The optimal space for double parking is at a T-junction.

6. Speed up to overtake faster cars. Once you are in front of them, drastically slow down.

7. If there is an accident slow down to take a look. The people behind you in a traffic jam do not mind waiting for such a worthy cause.

8. Change as many lanes as you can at one time. The more cars that sharply break because of you, the better.

9. It’s fine to steer with your knees if your hands are occupied with more important things like texting, smoking and phone calls.

10. If there is a long queue to take an exit, go to the front of the queue and cut in. Waiting in line is a waste of your time.