10 Signs You Have a Non-Christian Background


When you don’t grow up in a household of Christians (or lapsed Christians) it becomes apparent from a young age that you don’t belong to mainstream society. Here are 10 signs you don’t have a Christian background.

1. You’ve never believed in Santa Claus, not that you were going to tell your classmates to question how Santa entered their house since they had no chimneys

2. You’ve been confused when people told you Noah’s Ark was not just another fairy tale like Hansel & Gretel or Little Red Riding Hood

3. You always debate the appropriate response when people ask for your Christian name

4. You’ve been asked about Jewish/Muslim/Hindu Christmas rather than Hannukah/Eid/Diwali

5. You are confused about why people cut down trees to place in their living room

6. People subject you to rants about how offended they are that they need to say ‘Happy Holidays’ instead of ‘Merry Christmas’ because of other faiths, completely ignoring the fact that you just wished them a Merry Christmas

7. You are often lost when you hear Christian references in pop culture and wonder what exactly Jonah did to have a whale of a time

8. You’ve met ample people who are convinced you will see the light if you visit their church

9. You have friends who think it is funny to refer to you as a heathen

10. You didn’t clue in about what your chocolate advent calendar was until 22 December and wondered if you could pass off a chocolate overdose as trying to learn about the Christian faith