5 Inventions the World Needs

I’ve heard people say they want to change the world but I rarely see anyone lift a finger, myself included. I remember going to school with people who wanted to focus on research and creating new technology, but somehow everyone ended up with jobs that didn’t change the world. So in order to get started on making the world a better place, I would like to pitch 5 suggestions to engineers and other people who are capable of inventing things.


1. Common Sense Pill

When you take this pill you will automatically develop common sense. My mother will stop asking me why her email account is not ‘getting signal’ and waiters will not ask if I want to add ice to my hot water.

Yes I know this might sound impossible right now but I’m sure people used to think it was impossible to eradicate small pox.


2. Smoke Repellant

When you spray this on your hair before going to a smokey place it will not absorb the stench. It will mean you can actually go to the pub and then to work the next day without having to wash your hair.

Bonus points for the person who finds a way to keep cigarette smoke from smelling so horrendous.


3. Kinetic Phone Charger

If you place your phone in your jeans pocket, each step you take charges your phone. It will result in a healthier population and less tourists begging Starbucks employees to charge their phones.

Yes I’m aware that this might mean doing 30 jumping jacks to get your phone charge to go up by 1% but it beats being in New Delhi with a dead phone and being stopped from entering the airport to catch your flight home. (More about that here)


4. Spice Neutraliser

Pop this in your mouth as soon as you eat spicy food and your tongue will no longer be on fire. It will mean normal people can also eat Indian, Sri Lankan and Thai food. And yes, it will also prevent subsequent ass burning.

Some claim drinking milk or eating ice cream allows your tongue to stop being on fire but let’s face it, it only works for a moment. Unless you plan to consume a litre of ice cream after each spoonful of spiciness you will still feel like a torture victim.


5. Mind to Song Converter

Stick this device on your head and you will instantly see the name and artist of the song that has been stuck in your head. It means you no longer have to feel frustrated when you Google the lyrics ‘oh oh oh oh’.

Best of all it will mean tone-deaf people will be spared the embarrassment of trying to hum and sing something that sounds nothing close to the original song.