How to Be a Terrible Airline Passenger
While I don’t advocate pissing off people who are responsible for your safety in the sky, I cannot say the same for others who have been on my flights. Here are 10 simple ways to ensure the crew and other passengers absolutely hate you.
1. Respond with ‘Do you know who I am?’ when asked to place your seat in the upright position
2. Encourage your 5-year-old to play with the call button
3. Place your luggage in the aisle just before meal service
4. Insist that it is blatant sexism to only provide tampons to women
5. Ask that the pilot fly faster so you catch your connecting flight
6. Demand to be seated in the area of the plane with the best view of the clouds
7. Inquire if your meal contains kangaroo meat
8. Use the call button to complain about the turbulence
9. Claim that the passenger next to you is chewing too loudly
10. Say that wearing a seatbelt is against your religious beliefs
And if you are flying Air Canada, you can use this list too.