Confessions of a Former Teenager

As someone who used to be a teenager, I recognise that the teenage years are when the average person is devoid of rationality. The combination of being prone to doing stupid things and lack of money is disastrous. Even something  simple, like buying a friend dinner, will make you spend your twenties being thankful you are no longer a teenager.


If I could go back in time and stop my 19-year-old self from taking my friend Ray out to dinner, I would. Seated in a steakhouse, we were both telling our server what we wanted. Not a fan of gravy, I asked the server to serve my mashed potatoes plain. Ray interjected and asked that they bring the gravy because he wanted to dip his fries in there. So my mashed potatoes arrived smothered in gravy. Ray stuck a fry in and promptly declared that the gravy was terrible.

Fighting the urge to say something, I began to eat around the gravy. Ray however decided that he still wanted gravy. No, not the gravy that was lying in my plate, but a side order.

“Ray, you don’t like the gravy. Why would you order more?”
“That was mashed potato gravy. I’m going to get French fry gravy”
“Why would a restaurant make different gravy for fries and mashed potatoes?”
“Because the mashed potato gravy doesn’t taste good with the fries”

Soon enough, Ray discovered that French fry gravy was in fact the same as mashed potato gravy and he did not want to eat it. Teenage me was not willing to spend hard-earned cash on something Ray was not going to eat.

“Ray, you better finish that gravy. Drink it if you have to”
“No way! I’m not going to touch that stuff”
“Well then you can pay $1 for the gravy and I’ll pay for the rest of the meal”
“NO! You pay $1 for the gravy and I’ll pay for the rest of the meal!!!”
“Works for me”

Realising what he had just said, Ray retracted his statement. I wish it was equally easy for me to retract my teenage years.