7 New Year’s Resolutions for Commuters

Every year people make New Year’s resolutions like going to the gym regularly or quitting smoking. While these resolutions are fine, I have a few suggestions for the people who take public transportation with me. Resolutions that will benefit humanity if I dare say so.

clipping-toenails-subway

1. Showering daily
Perhaps last year’s resolution was to the help save the environment by reducing water consumption. This year, don’t pollute the environment with your stench.

2. Covering your mouth while coughing
Perhaps last year’s resolution was to share more. This year share cookies, not germs.

3. Talking softly
Perhaps last year’s resolution was to express yourself more. This year, restrict conversations about rashes to private places.

4. Standing away from the doors
Perhaps last year’s resolution was to practise being a bouncer on the metro. This year, take a lesson from bouncers at clubs and let people leave when they want to.

5. Placing your bag in your lap during rush hour
Perhaps last year’s resolution was to make sure your tired bag always got a seat. This year, pay bus fare for your bag before depriving somebody else of a seat.

6. A no-elbowing policy
Perhaps last year’s resolution was admiring your elbows in public places. This year, try admiring other commuters for putting up with you.

7. Not playing music out loud
Perhaps last year’s resolution was to save money by not purchasing headphones.  This year, use that extra money to purchase a car.

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