How to Piss Off a Canadian
Rumour has it that Canadians are always polite and apologetic. Some might say Canadians will apologise to you for being in the way if you run over their foot with your car. In reality, you can easily piss off a Canadian in any of the following ways:
1. Ask for directions to a ski slope in the summer
2. Insist that he or she said a-boot and not about
3. Tell them the truth about how awful poutine tastes (poutine is gravy and cheese on top of fries and yes the cheese does curdle)
4. Say that Budweiser tastes better than any Canadian beer
5. Tell them you would love a copy of their favourite moose meat recipe
6. Inquire if their pet stores sell polar bear treats
7. Say you don’t care for Margaret Atwood’s writing style
8. Serve pancakes with artificial syrup
9. Ask if they have more snowmobile dealerships than car dealerships
10. Tell them Justin Bieber is the only Canadian you have heard of
Warning, there is every reason to believe that 1 in 10 Canadians can help you with #5.
As for #10, say that to my face you %#$%%#%!
Happy holidays!
🙂 Would you care to reccomend a restaurant that serves moose? All I’ve managed to find so far is deer at a Vietnamese restaurant in T.O.
I can’t think of anything in Toronto off the top of my head, but there is an amazing little restaurant in old Quebec City that serves a variety of game.
It’s been a few years, so specifically moose I can’t guarantee but I definitely recall elk.
Two places you could check in Toronto:
Wvrst (on King Street)
http://www.wvrst.com/wvrst-food-menu.pdf
Black Hoof (on Harbord, I think)
http://theblackhoof.com/
Not sure you’ll get moose, but the game selections are good
That was mighty kind of you to do all that research for me. May you find maple-flavoured Kraft Dinner in your stocking this year.
Wow, artificial syrup? That’s really below the belt…
You’re right… Aunt Jemima syrup tastes about as awful as poutine.
Poutine is just one of those words that doesn’t even SOUND like it’s good.
this is great! thanks for the laugh. But (here comes the but), Poutine is the best and Bud is the pits.
But then again if you really don’t like poutine that is ok and if you like bud better well, I guess that is alright and ……..
Anybody who thinks Bud is better than Moosehead clearly lacks taste buds
I love the Canadian humor, although I’m sure it’s at least as easy to mock us Americans.
That just happens to be in the works 🙂
Great! I’m looking forward to it.
Ha, I piss off my Canadian friend by saying ‘oot and aboot’ to her all the time 😉 It’s really true!
Haha in all fairness I’ve never heard a Canadian say aboot. Just other people making fun of them!
That’s true actually – wonder where it came from?!
Reblogged this on The Phil Factor and commented:
A very funny list from a very funny blogger.
I am saving this in case I ever travel to Canada (and I totally hope I get to go one day. I hear great things.) thanks for telling me a-boot which buttons to push.
I love poutine as much as I love my mom.
I love poutine almost as much as I love bacon.
I’m not so sure your mom is going to be happy to hear you love processed meat more than her!
Its okay. She loves Judge Judy more than me. Ahahah
As a Canadian who loves game meat, hates maple syrup, and is indifferent to Atwood, I question the research that went into this list 😉
Also Bud is terrible. And Poutine rocks. To quote Avril Lavigne, I love me some melted cheese. She even recently made a video explaining how to make poutine. It isn’t a moose meat recipe, but I think Canada should consider her for a foreign posting once the music career winds down. At any rate, here it is: http://youtu.be/61ZwjpTe-c8
um actually the number one way to piss off a canadian right now is to bring up rob ford and suggest he represents the rest of canada
Haha I reckon that’s just Torontonians
I’m a – French – Canadian, so don’t touch my poutine! However, I must say most poutines are not good. You have to go to Quebec to taste the real thing.
Articifial syrup? Yuck.
My English Canadian friends have recipes for moose I can assure you!
Margaret Atwood is a brilliant writer, you should reconsider.
Gotta go, a foot of snow to shovel now.
🙂
Okay I’ll be honest I don’t like artifical syrup either (but I do not get why people look lovestruck when they talk about real maple syrup)
OK, you asked.
Chop the moose into pieces. I know you’re not going to have the whole animal, or you’d already have a bunch of recipes. Your crazy hunter friend’s wife is just trying to unload the stuff on whoever will take it.
Heat a skillet medium-high, then put in enough oil to coat the pan, plus a little more.
Put in a layer of moose and let it brown on all sides.
Put the first batch of browned moose meat into a slow cooker.
Repeat till you’ve got however much meat your friend gave you.
Put in whatever flavorings you happen to like or have around. This recipe is good for long stays in a cabin in the woods, so I’m going to assume you’ll put in anything you can find. Onion soup mix is good cuz it’s real salty, but I like salsa or tomato sauce or a whole bunch of herbs or some dried fruit.
Pour in some liquid. Traditionally, the recipe calls for apple juice, but I like beer or red wine or pretty much anything. Use your judgment. Just cuz you’re American doesn’t mean you can use Coke.
Cover and cook on low or medium till the meat is very tender, maybe 6 to 8 hours. It depends on how old and tough the moose is. The lower and slower, the better.
Check occasionally to make sure there’s still some liquid. Add more if necessary.
Make gravy with the juices and use it to make poutine.
Share with your family and friends. Serve with Molsons.
I wish every recipe said ‘put whatever flavourings you have around’