How to Survive a Marriage Proposal

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For most people, the day someone proposes to them is arguably the happiest day of their life. However, if you are like me, you’ve been asked this question so many times (primarily by strangers) that you’ve likely stared into a mirror to see if the words ‘ask me to marry you’ are etched in your face.

If you are tired of repeatedly going through these agonizing marriage proposals, read on for tips on how to get through them.

When you are at the mall and a kiosk salesperson comes up to you, make sure your conversation does not go like this:

“I want to marry you”
“I’m sorry, WHAT??”
“Let’s get married”
“But I don’t know you”
“There’s time for that when we’re married. Didn’t I see you with your mother earlier? Bring her to me so I can ask for your hand in marriage”

If you are unable to avoid the awkward conversation where they pop the question, say something to make them lose interest.

“Are you Muslim?”
“Yes I am”
“Well UAE law doesn’t permit us to get married”
“That’s okay. You’ll convert”
“How do you figure that?”
“We’ll both talk about our religions, and after I tell you about mine I’m sure you will be convinced”

If your first attempt to dissuade them does not work, try a different angle. Lie if you have to.

“I’m too young to get married. I’m only 16”
“That’s fine with me”
“Uhh my mum’s waiting for me”
“Bring her back here so I can ask for your hand in marriage”

It is key to remember that escaping the situation one time, does not guarantee the same person will not find you again. You may be wise enough to avoid going to that mall again. It does not mean that the same person will not find you 2 weeks later in another mall, wearing headphones, blissfully unaware of their presence. Unfortunately I have no advice for what to do when they tap you on the shoulder and say

“Aren’t we supposed to be getting married?”

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