An Open Letter to Dentists
Dear dentists,
I can’t help but feel like your job is to terrorize me. First, when you stick those sharp objects in my mouth and lie to me saying that it won’t hurt. And again, when you hand me the bill. When you said ‘open wide’, I did not realize you meant ‘open your wallet wide’.
The other day when I walked out clutching my jaw it wasn’t because of the pain you put me through. It was because I was in shock from seeing what you charged me. I simply don’t understand why you expect so much money for filling in such tiny spaces. If I asked a handyman to fix a hole that size I’m sure he would do it for free. I’d just like to point out the tooth fairy paid me money to take away my teeth. You seem to expect money for doing the very same thing.
My dentist pointed out that I’d gone 3 years without seeing her. In those 3 years I managed to take 10 vacations. Then, in a span of 1 week, she decided to take the same amount of money I spent on my trip to Kenya. Essentially I feel like I’ve been left to choose between travelling and possessing teeth, both of which I love very much.
Now that I actually understand the meaning of the expression ‘million dollar smile’, I wish I had gone to dental school. The return on investment seems phenomenal. The only downside is taking courses such as:
- How to decay the average man’s income
- Extracting blood from gums
- Effective methods to inflict pain
I digress. You are probably wondering what the purpose of this letter is, so I’ll cut to the chase. Will you give me a discount if I agree to marry you?
LOL I feel your pain
Ouchie…. and I bet that Kenya trip was expensive, too.
And for all that pain and expense they even feel entitled to lecture the patient if they are remiss with dental hygiene……um….. I thought I was paying enough NOT to be lectured and to be cleaned up….! Great post!
You said it! The worst part is you can’t even argue back because they are holding a sharp object in your mouth will lecturing you.
Sigh, I feel this way every time I go to the dentist….I had to get braces, and I still fail to understand why a couple of rubber bands and metal wires should cost so much.
I reckon it’s because they want to make back the money they spent on dental school
That’s probably it…
I myself made it to a medical school, but we couldn’t afford the fees…so now I’m studying Engineering 😛
oh my, dentist are legal robbers alas not Robin Hood style at all. Since in my childhood Soviet dentistry was awful and very VERY painful, I still have a trauma of dentists. So even now, when it literary does not hurt during procedures and all, every time making an appointment with my dentist I get all jumpy and all.
Luckily here I can get some state dentistry, which in comparison with private dentists is really cheap, though some specialists working in the sector are really good. Downsides being that it is really difficult to make an appointment with state dentist, and secondly, while they fill holes, do some hygiene and all, they’d do only the basics, so no ‘million dollar’ smile afterwards in all respects but healthy hole-less teeth
That’s really interesting. I was always told Soviet healthcare was really good. I guess dentistry was the exception.
Soviet health care was good in terms of availability and the fact that doctors were quite well trained. And it was totally for free. BUT medicine and medical equipment was not so much up to date. And since everything was hard to come by back them, this also included drugs; so sometimes even the most basic cures like cough syrups could be hard to come by. And dentistry was like the worst of the lot with all those slow machines, no painkillers (or you could ask for some and risk all the side effects) and amalgam (or else called silver) fillings. Try and imagine how one’s teeth looked with metal fillings…
Oh, it wasn’t all bad 🙂 but all the torture in dentists’ chairs I’ve had as a kid was more than enough to keep me shivering at the mere thought of dentists even today
Awesome…. too good!!!
I always feel slightly embarrassed at the dentist, don’t know what it is. I just seems way to intimate. Then they want to talk to you one they have all kinds of crap in your mouth. It is the whole “turn your head and cough” thing.
Good post
Nice post! This is how I feel too…I loathe going to the dentist. I’m also looking to marry one so that I can save on my out-of-pocket fees & insurance charges.
Here’s one of the several blogs I’ve written about going to the dentist –
http://chocolatevent.com/2013/07/27/dont-pray-for-me-pray-for-my-dentist/
It appears dentists and the tooth fairy may be in cahoots.
I’m certain dentists fleece tooth fairies too
Oh! I’ve often had same thought about dentists! OMG. Good idea to marry one, though….never did think of that myself!
I’ve learned the hard way that this is easier said than done